Thoughts on the Finnish Music Scene

 

Last fall, conductor Nils Schweckendiek, born in Germany, won the Pacius Prize for his outstanding contribution to the Finnish music scene (more specifically, his interpretation of modern music). In his interview with HBL, I was deeply saddened to learn that his teacher from the Sibelius Academy encouraged him to go home after graduation, stating matter-of-factly that ¨Finland is for Finnish conductors.¨ That was fifteen years ago, and thankfully, Nils didn't listen to that advice, but has instead continued to make music both here in Finland and abroad. 

 

This term, I had the pleasure of attending my colleague¨s course on Finnish Music History and to my surprise, the Helsinki he described in the early 1900s was bustling with musicians from Russia and Sweden, as well as other parts of Europe. At the same time, a newly independent Finland (Finland gained independence in 1918) was intent on strengthening her national identity, and this was naturally best expressed in the form of culture -- for example, we have quite a few Finnish operas, and they are distinctly Finnish in scope.

 

I've been pondering over Nils' experience and thankful that he dared to share so openly. I find it natural that Finns are happy to hear of the successes of Finnish musicians working all over the world, but at the same time, somewhat disconcerting that these same people would even feel the need to comment on the number of musicians from abroad who are working in our orchestras locally. Music by nature transcends language and nationalistic boundaries -- one look at Western music history should be enough to remind us of this (Handel the German, who studied in Italy and went to England to produce Italian opera, is but one well-known example of this).

 

Attitudes towards those who are ¨foreign¨ or ¨different¨ often run in our subconscious, and are much harder to address than blatant discrimination. Not too long ago, I myself was recommended for a church music gig in Finnish, and when I contacted the person in question (in Finnish), I was politely told that since all the music was in Finnish, they would find someone else. Thankfully, these kinds of things haven't happened very often and in fact, I have been welcomed in Finnish speaking churches in many parts of the country, but it was a stark reminder that we have a long way to go in this area.

Seriously Offended

 

A few weeks ago, I participated in a meeting with a guest speaker who stated that he didn't feel women should be in positions of leadership in the church. At the same time, he was quick to acknowledge that this was his personal conviction and that there are indeed many women who have been given leadership roles in various contexts. He didn't believe this was right, based on his reading of the Bible.

I immediately had a flashback to one of my first teaching jobs, where the administrator who signed my contract also questioned the decision of those who had chosen to hire me -- not on the grounds of my CV, but because I was a woman, and a minority at that. Fortunately, I got the job.

In both cases, I started to feel a defensive wall of anger build up around me, as these kinds of statements threaten my identity deeply. At the same time, I've worked most of my life in a traditionally male-dominant field and have fortunately had some great mentors, most of them male. Some of my most memorable conversations have transpired over afternoon tea or a leisurely lunch. I count myself very blessed in this regard.

When I sat down and pondered over my own feelings more deeply, I started to realize that somehow, somewhere, our society has managed to ingrain in us the misconception that those who hold a different worldview, perspective, lifestyle choice or opinion from our own, are automatically labelled as inherently bad. This is simply not true, and furthermore, taking immediate offense, as I did, inhibits any productive discussion or even meaningful relationships we could potentially build. God has given us both free will and the ability to reason and think for ourselves, and although we often argue that we (and usually those closest to us) are right and everyone else uneducated or misinformed, if we really stop to examine this paradox, we should come to the ultimate conclusion that it's not possible for all the inhabitants of the earth to agree on any one subject. 

Do I believe that women should be given equal opportunities, both in the church and in working life -- absolutely! However, I can also respect others who see things differently from me, and that it is really important that I leave them room to voice these opinions, even though they might threaten my own choices directly or indirectly. At the moment, corona restrictions have severely limited our social circles and chances are, we are only spending regular time (online or in person) with those who share similar views to our own and this is potentially more dangerous than covid itself. As a society, we will probably see the consequences for decades to come, unless we start to make a conscious choice to give space for others with differing opinions, without becoming immediately offended.

 

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If I had only known how very painful this season of my life would be, I would have begged God to spare me, just as Jesus did in the Garden of Gethsemane. Three weeks ago, one of my close friends suddenly passed away. When her mother called early one morning, I thought to myself,  ¨what a pleasant surprise -- she surely has a special event in mind for when we get out of lockdown.¨ Alas, it didn't take long to relay the news and I will never forget the feeling of utter despair and immense shock that immediately flooded every part of me. The days that followed were a blur of calls and text messages, accompanied by a myriad of questions. During the first week, I found myself suddenly waking up in the middle of the night, only to realize I had been crying in my sleep, and I began to wonder if things would ever be normal again. 

     ¨Blessed are those who mourn,     
     For they shall be comforted.¨ Matthew 5:4

Losing a loved one is never easy, but the isolation of the corona pandemic made it all the worse for me. I\d already been spending way too much time by myself, and now I was alone with all my thoughts and questions. I quickly discovered that not all well-meaning friends and acquaintances make good listeners and I spent more energy assuaging others' fears than actually managing my own grief. I eventually learned to turn off my phone and kept in touch with a select few who patiently allowed me to express my sorrow openly, without feeling the need to respond with platitudes. 

About a year ago, another close friend passed away from diabetic complications after four months in the hospital. I had hoped beyond all hope and prayed fervently that she would recover and I was devastated when several days after being released from the ICU, she died. I spent the next couple of months depressed and angry at God -- here was someone who spread joy and laughter and had the best sense of humor, and whose presence would be very much missed here on earth. It didn't make any sense to me at all. I finally came around when I realized that I could rely on God's character, even if I didn't understand His ways. I still don't have any answers, but because the Lord has shown up time and time for me, I know I can still trust Him, even in the midst of the fiercest storm.

The good news is that the lesson that I learned last year has remained with me up until the present time, because although I don't think I have ever cried this much in my (adult) life as I have in the past three weeks, I know I can still completely trust God's character and that He knows what He is doing. 

My last phone call with Niina was the week before her death. Due to the pandemic, we'd already been talking on the phone more often than normal and on this particular day, we'd first exchanged several voice messages (a habit we started a long time ago, possibly due to both my busy schedule and general reluctance to write in less-than-perfect Swedish). We'd been talking about opening one's heart, and what it means to learn to love and somewhere in our voice messages as a side note, I mentioned how God doesn't see our past mistakes, because when we decide to allow Jesus into our lives, He forgives us completely. Niina called immediately and thanked me for the words I'd said -- they clearly meant a lot to her. We proceeded to talk about our life dreams -- articulating them seemed foreign to me, but not for Niina, who loved planning and always saw the positive in everything. It certainly did not occur to me then that this would be our last phone conversation, but I think God knew and orchestrated it perfectly.

Two days before her death, Niina and another choir friend went to the cherry blossom park near Niina's home. The weather was warm and we brought snacks, a blanket and a bottle of light sparkling wine. We took plenty of pictures. When evening came and we parted ways, despite the pandemic, Niina and I hugged. I never knew it would be our last, but I am glad this was our final memory together here on earth.

I've heard that dealing with grief comes in layers, and I am experiencing that right now. I've already caught myself numerous times thinking that I would call Niina to ask her opinion on something. A couple of days ago, a friend sent a mystery sound clip to a group I was part of, and I immediately recognized my own choir -- and Nina's strong alto coming through. 

Despite the pandemic, Niina's family very graciously invited me to the funeral. I think it hit me then that we wouldn't be sharing any more choir rehearsals, trips to the park, bus rides across Finland, dinner parties or late-night telephone calls here on earth. We sang one of Niina's favourite songs that so aptly captures her relationship with her heavenly father:

     ¨I love Your voice
     You have led me through the fire.
     In darkest night, You are close like no other.
     I've known You as a father 
     I've known You as a friend.
     And I have lived in the goodness of God.¨ 

I knew in my heart when the corona lockdown began, that I would not come out the same. I knew already then that God wanted our attention, our hearts and even our tears. I didn't know that this fire would hurt this much, but I have also seen very clearly that if we allow God to love us, He holds us in His almighty arms -- and that not even sickness, loneliness, natural disasters, political unrest nor death can separate us from His great love.

¨

  

                 

Listening to music and how it might impact our understanding of the corona virus.

Before the corona virus epidemic, I had been working as a freelance music critic, writing for our national Swedish newspaper. This means, I have had the pleasure of going to lot of concerts, and each time, I listen attentively and I bring what I know about music to my writing. Although I've studied and been engaged in music all my life, I openly admit that many of my opinions are often a question of taste -- just because well-known Finnish vocal quartet Fork's most recent show didn't move me, doesn't mean that others won't enjoy them. I find it fascinating to read reviews of concerts I have myself attended, and it intrigues me how educated musicians listen and respond so differently to music.  

Tonight, the Finnish government held a press conference and announced plans to slowly lift the many restrictions that have put the country in isolation for the past six weeks. My greatest fear since the epidemic began in China has surprisingly not been that I would myself fall sick, although I also belong to one of the many risk groups. My greatest fear is how we are judging and pointing fingers at each other for our actions and values, and at the moment, most of this is done online. Our spoken and unspoken need to protect ourselves and our families (granted, a very valid reason!) is clouding our view when it comes to dialoguing and listening to others. This is about to escalate once the country begins to open up, moving from online to in-person encounters, unless we as a society consciously do something about it. I'm just as guilty of this as anyone else, so this post speaks to my heart and I hope it speaks to yours too.

The first big pitfall the world at large is falling into is that of blaming nations for the onslaught of the virus. These conspiracy theories don't really accomplish anything. I understand our innate need to find answers, but when a good friend's teenage daughter was quite recently harassed on the street in Finland for being Chinese, I boiled up in rage. 

A few weeks ago, a friend of mine wanted to suggest a walk, and began the conversation by asking, ¨how many people have you seen lately?¨ I gave my answer, and received a rather condescending, ¨oh... that's still quite a lot of people.¨ I resisted the temptation of pointing out that I hadn't taken public transportation in weeks, neither had I been to the downtown area, knowing full well that my friend did both on an almost daily basis. If every dinner invitation, concert event, work meeting or walk in the park is going to be preceded by a mini-interrogation, I'm afraid we're going to end up at home and very lonely.

When I attend a concert, I try to put aside my personal biases, feelings and even mood (fortunately, I am usually in a good mood when I get to hear live music!) so that I can focus on the performance I am about to review. Unfortunately, this skill has been somewhat lost in our corona-panic and is instead manifesting in our voracious need to hoard things such as toilet paper, yeast and pasta. As it turns out, hoarding might be a safer side when it comes to coping methods, at least in Finland.

We've forgotten a few basic principles. Although the virus can affect anyone and is not a respecter of persons, we are still not all in the same boat. While some people, like me, are forced to work from home and make drastic changes to how they do their job, others might have the exact same workday, but instead they risk their lives daily when they leave the house and go to work. Parents are struggling to balance homeschooling which makes them less able to focus on their jobs -- and in many cases, happy that school is starting up again. Those who already struggled with loneliness and depression before the epidemic are at a real risk of withdrawing even further. We also should not forget the elderly and those in risk groups who have not seen their family or friends in weeks. The very fact that there is an indefinite timeline to when they might be able to safely begin to appear in public, is in itself a rather disheartening and  all-consuming thought to ponder alone in isolation.

In addition, some people adapt well to change, while others are struggling with what to cook for lunch every day (I admit I had this problem during our first week at home!). Then there are those who have strong social networks to fall back on -- and others who are not yet able to admit or articulate their fears even if they knew who to call.

We're not in the same boat and even worse, we've forgotten how to listen and how to show empathy. A friend courageously shared her feelings about the anonymity of mask-wearing on Facebook, and I was aghast to read the heartless response of others. We listen to react with our strong opinions, because we naturally believe that we are right and that we are entitled to our opinions. We've forgotten that Jesus went to the cross -- not because He felt like it, but because it was the will of His father, and He did it because He loves us. Our best response is to listen for the sake of listening and to love because Jesus loved us first. 

Unlike my concert reviews, where I'm supposedly a so-called expert on music, the corona virus is a very new thing and hardly any of us can call ourselves experts -- any scientific findings are really in the initial stages and not enough grounds by which to start daily debates. We are not in the same boat, but we are in this together, so let's ask God to show us how to keep our hearts soft and our ears open even in our day-to-day lives so that our new-found freedom is also an opportunity to bless others. 

The Meaning of Easter during the Coronavirus Epidemic

Today is Easter Sunday, and I woke up this morning to see that even all of Facebook proclaims the good news -- Christ is risen from the grave! I started to think -- what does this powerful and joyful message mean for us today? 

We are celebrating a different kind of Easter this year. The great cities of the world are in lockdown – hotels, restaurants, bars, airports, theaters, sporting events and even churches sit in empty silence. Here in Finland, our province has been closed off from the rest of the country with police guarding our borders vigilantly round the clock, meaning many families are separated at a time when we would otherwise be gathering together. In the span of a mere few weeks, millions of people have lost their jobs and are confused about the future, while others brave the terrors of a still relatively unknown disease daily to save the lives of the countless patients in our nations’ hospitals and care homes. Many have lost friends, family and loved ones, and the fear of sickness is undoubtedly prevalent, whether we are able to articulate it or not. 

The message of Easter, that Jesus, the son of our almighty God, willingly went to the cross, ¨was wounded for our transgressions, was bruised for our iniquities,¨ (Isaiah 53:5) and rose in victory so that we would be granted eternal life, is one which we are well familiar with, but it takes on a much different meaning this year in light of our current circumstances. Jesus did not only go to the cross so that we would have a secure future after death – the Bible also tells us that ¨by His stripes we are healed,¨ and that He came ¨to heal the brokenhearted, and to proclaim liberty to the captives, to comfort all who mourn, to give beauty for ashes and the oil of joy for mourning.¨(Isaiah 61). That’s a lot of good news! This means that even today, we know that God is in control of our situation and our world, and that we can trust Him with our lives, even if we are afraid or don’t completely understand what is going on. 

The power of the resurrection is as relevant today as it was 2000 years ago, because Jesus never changes and His love and grace are totally beyond our comprehension. It is my prayer this Easter even as we sit in our homes, unable to attend church, that we would come to truly understand how deeply Jesus loves us and how much He longs for us to trust Him completely. This, my friends, is ultimately the message of Easter.

Christ is risen! Hallelujah!

My Encouter with a Wild Boar

While in Hong Kong over Christmas, I had the opportunity to spend a couple of days in a luxury hotel in Cyberport, located on the southern tip of Hong Kong island. The area is considerably less populated than the rest of the city and my hotel overlooked the ocean. It was the perfect spot for a calm and relaxing personal retreat on the final days of 2019 -- or so I thought.

On the afternoon of my second day, I decided to go for a jog by the ocean. I left the hotel, walked up the road and turned off at the paved path leading down to the sea. I heard some rustling on my left, coming from the overgrown brush along the path, but because I knew the path also leads to a dog park, I didn't stop to investigate. Eager to get to the sea and begin my run, I hurried on, but seconds later, a large, brown animal comes out of the brush and we are almost face-to-face. At that moment, I realized the two people I had thought were waiting for their dogs along the same path were actually park employees, carrying large backpacks and suspicious-looking poles. One of them cautioned me to be careful, but I truly didn't need any warning -- I was terrified and immediately slowed my pace, hoping to avoid any unwanted attention. At that point, I noticed there was a closed gate at the end of the path and within seconds, I made my way safely to the other side of the gate  A group of children were gathered there, peering excitedly over the closed fence at the wild animals. I later learned that the boars had been spotted and lured by food in an attempt to capture and relocate them elsewhere, and that they are generally not dangerous, unless provoked or in protection of their young. 

I had come on this retreat with my Bible and my journal, hoping to seek God for the upcoming year. I didn't even know Hong Kong had wild boars and in all the years my parents have lived in the city, they have never even seen one from afar, so my experience was somewhat out of the ordinary. Only hours before, I had been on that same path with my little 3.5 year old niece and I am truly thankful that she had gone home with grandma by the time I met the boar and that I was alone. 

Once my heart and pulse rates slowed down to normal, I gave up the idea of jogging, and found a vacant park bench by the ocean instead. That's when I realized -- sometimes on the path to finding the Lord and learning to hear His voice, we come face-to-face with adversity, with our worst fears, with seemingly insurmountable challenges. These often appear out of nowhere, taking us by surprise, and it is easy to become discouraged and give up altogether. However, the Lord has given us tools in which to fight even the most frightening battles, and people to fight alongside us. In addition, He has promises that He will never leave or forsake us (Deuteronomy 31:6, Joshua 1:5), and that is a promise worth remembering. The key is to stay on the path, rooted in the Lord and focused on our goals, because with God, there is always hope.

If you are entering 2020 with a heavy heart, here is a song that reminds us to bring our burdens to the Lord, because He desires to turn our mourning into dancing and our sorrow into joy.

May your 2020 be filled with much peace and joy!  

The Comfort Zone

A few months ago, I received a phone call from the music editor of one of our national newspapers, asking if I would be interested in writing music reviews -- in Swedish. I laughed involuntarily, because up until that point, I had never written anything in Swedish except short text messages and the occasional e-mail. To my mind, the proposition sounded rather ludicrous. I explained all this as cordially as I could, but the editor wasn't so easily deterred, so I promised to sleep on it and give an answer in a couple of days.

My answer ended up being a somewhat lukewarm, ¨I could give this a try, but I am really not sure if I am going to be any good at it.¨ Looking back, that answer reflected my fears all-too-accurately, but it was hard to pinpoint, even for myself, what exactly I was so terribly afraid of. I then realized my biggest struggle was going outside of my comfort zone and doing something completely new, and of which I actually knew very little about. The very thought that failure could well be possible was not very appealing to me, but the only way I was going to know for sure was to try.

Let's face it -- there is something very comforting in the familiar. Whether it is a well-worn pair of jeans, a favourite breakfast cereal or chilling with your best childhood friend, we tend to gravitate towards that which we know. Doing something new is scary and venturing into the unknown is equally terrifying, so most of us stay within well-traveled waters.

Since I have moved countries several times, learned a couple of foreign languages and succeeded in adjusting to a new culture, I actually get asked pretty often how I dared to step into the unknown. I gave the question some thought, and wrote down a few things I try to implement when going outside of my comfort zone:

1. Know yourself. Analyze your strengths and weaknesses so that you can make informed decisions when leaving the safety of what you know. If you struggle working with little kids, but love the elderly, then you want to keep this in mind when job hunting. This knowledge can also help you compensate for any weaknesses -- for example, I know I am not very good at getting certain administrative tasks done which involve going to an unfamiliar place. Recently, I wanted to be sure I would vote in the governmental elections, so I asked to meet up with a friend, who ensured that we both voted. And yes, I know this doesn't sound very grown-up of me, but the point here is that I voted!

2. Ask for advice. When I need to make larger decisions in my life, I often ask people who know me for their opinion. I usually try to choose people who care about me, are well aware of my strengths and weaknesses, and/or have experience in making similar decisions. At the end of the day, the choice to venture into unknown territory is my own, but it helps to discuss it with others and get another perspective.

3. Break it down. Sometimes a task might feel totally overwhelming (such as moving to another country!) and that feeling can turn to fear. However, writing a list of things, along with a corresponding timeline usually helps me to see that not everything needs to be done right away and that smaller goals are indeed manageable. The other advantage to having a list is that it minimizes the chances of inadvertently forgetting to do something!

4. Think outside of the box. There is nothing wrong with re-sizing your comfort zone by doing things a bit differently! A friend of mine once confessed that she had been set up on a blind date, but was too terrified to accept -- my solution was to turn it into a double-date that I also got to take part in, and it ended up being a really enjoyable evening!

5. Be a lifelong learner. If we constantly challenge ourselves to do things that are outside of our normal routine, we become accustomed to it. Whether it is a new language, new foods, a new travel destination, a new hobby, or a new hairdo, we can find small ways to expand our horizons, so that when a larger life transition comes our way, we are in the habit of tackling the unknown.

5. Cultivate a healthy attitude towards failure. I realize almost everyone is afraid of rejection and we try to avoid situations in which we might fail by staying within the safety of known territory. However, the world is full of examples of successful people who were not recognized until much later in life. Realize that your identity is not in what you do, but in who you are.

Finally, remember that we have differing comfort zones -- for me, navigating my way around an unfamiliar city is totally outside of my comfort zone, but calling up a new acquaintance and inviting them over for tea isn't. Be gracious to yourself, breathe, and then dare to say yes to the world outside of the comfort zone. 

Please feel free to add to my list by writing in the comments below!

10 Helpful Tips for Worship Leaders

This brief article was the result of an interview with Nelli Heinimo, whom I had the pleasure of meeting one Sunday when visiting a local congregation.  It first appeared in Finnish in Ruut and has been translated into English by my longtime friend and fellow musician, Hannu Ala.

Many thanks to both Nelli and Hannu, and to the countless number of worshippers I have had the pleasure of serving with over the years.  Thank you for your prayers, support, patience, knowledge and wisdom.

If you think I have forgotten something very important, feel free to write it in the comments below!

10 Helpful Tips for Worship Leaders

1. Your relationship with God should always be number one. Take time to worship and pray at home and come to church to receive and be with God even when you are not serving.

2. Develop your musical skills.  A few instrumental or singing lessons can go a long way.  You should have reasonable singing proficiency and preferably, ability in at least one instrument.  Music theory knowledge is also a big plus.

3. Church music doesn’t have to be professional.  In fact, I don’t think God really cares if the music isn’t flawless.  However, too many mistakes might distract people from focusing on Jesus.

4. Worship should never be a performance. Regardless of how big or small a meeting or event is, keep in mind that you are worshipping an Audience of One.

5. A worship team is not unlike a mini-congregation, led by the worship leader. Take an active role in conflict resolution and remind the team who you are serving and why.  Remember to also pray for your team.

6. Spiritual leadership is difficult if you don’t know your Bible.  Spend time studying it.

7. Even though you may receive invitations to visit different churches, it’s important to be rooted in your home congregation and to grow in your calling as a worship leader.  Honour your church leaders and collaborate with them.

8. Keep your eyes open when leading.  This way, you can see what God is doing in the congregation, and you can communicate with the band.

9. It’s helpful to realise that a worshipper is operating on a spiritual battlefield. The devil doesn’t want us to worship God.  Pray unceasingly!

10. There is a real need for worship leaders!  If God has put this on your heart, He will equip you.

10 tips till lovsångsledaren

Nelli Heinimo, Ruut-lehti
Svensk översättning Johanna Perret

Skulle du vilja ha en ansvarsuppgift inom lovsång i din församling? Fiona Chow delar här sina tips till lovsångsledare.

Fiona Chow har flera års erfarenhet av att leda musik i flera olika slags församlingar. Hon vill uppmuntra och inspirera finländare att prisa Gud. Här är Fionas tips till alla dem som upplever sig kallade att tjäna församlingen som musikansvariga, både anställda och frivilliga.

1. Håll alltid din relation till Gud på första plats.  Spendera tid ensam hemma för att tillbe, och gå med jämna mellanrum till församlingens möten bara för att ta emot och vara med Gud.
2. Utveckla ditt kunnande och satsa på det. Redan några sång- eller spellektioner kan ge mycket. Du borde ha en bra grund i sång och något instrument. Teorikunskaper är också till hjälp.
3. Gudstjänstmusiken behöver trots det inte vara professionell. Gud bryr sig knappast ifall musiken inte alltid flödar obehindrat. Men människornas upplevelse påverkas nog ifall musiken är väldigt hackig.
4. Lovsång borde aldrig vara ett uppträdande. Oberoende hur stor tillställningen är, kom ihåg att den verkliga publiken är endast Gud.
5. Musikteamet är som en liten församling som lovsångsledaren lotsar. Våga ta rollen som konfliktlösare, och påminn teamet under pågående konflikt varför och för vem ni gör detta. Kom också ihåg att be för ditt team.
6. Andligt ledarskap är svårt om du inte känner Bibeln väl. Använd alltså tid till att umgås med den.
7. Även om du åker runt och leder lovsång på olika ställen, är det viktigt att du rotas i din hemförsamling. Sök uppmuntran och skolning för din uppgift där. Respektera din församlings ledare och samarbeta med dem.
8. Håll ögonen öppna då du leder lovsång. Då ser du vad som händer i församlingen och kan kommunicera med bandet.
9. Det är bra att vara medveten om att lovsångaren fungerar på ett andligt stridsfält. Fienden vill inte att vi tillber Gud.
10.  Lovsångsledare behövs! Om Gud har satt på ditt hjärta att leda lovsång, kommer han också att lära dig hur.

My first experience with the Swedish language....

Although it is hard to believe, seven years ago, I couldn't speak a word of Swedish.  However, growing up in the Vancouver Bach Children's Chorus, I remember we sang a folksong in Swedish.  I was probably about twelve at the time, Diane Loomer was the conductor, and I just assumed the song was from Sweden.  It would not be until 2010, during my first visit to Israel, that I learned ¨vem kan segla¨ actually originates from Åland, an autonomous group of islands belonging to Finland and where the primary language is Swedish.   I have visited Åland at least three times and think it is pretty neat that my journey into learning Swedish began with a song from such a beautiful place.

Earlier this summer, we attended a concert presented by the EuroChoir, approximately forty singers from sixteen countries who come together for a week of rehearsals and performances in a different city annually.  This year, they happened to be in Helsinki -- and they sang several songs from Finland, including ¨vem kan segla.¨  Here is a video from that concert and even though this arrangement is a LOT more complicated than the one we sang in the VBCC when I was a kid, it brought me on a trip down memory lane and reminded me how much those early days of singing in a children's choir has impacted my life to this day.

https://lyricstranslate.com/en/vem-kan-segla-who-can-sail.html

Who can sail without wind,

Who can row without oars,

Who can part from their friend

Without shedding tears?

https://lyricstranslate.com/en/vem-kan-segla-who-can-sail.html

Who can sail without wind,

Who can row without oars,

Who can part from their friend

Without shedding tears?

I can sail without wind,

I can row without oars,

But I can't part from my friend

Without shedding tears.Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

Here is an English translation:

Who can sail without wind?
Who can row without oars?
Who can part from their friend
Without shedding tears?

I can sail without wind,
I can row without oars,
But I can't part from my friend
Without shedding tears.

Thankfulness

     This post is about some things I am sincerely thankful for this week.  They may not seem big -- in fact, they may sound pretty trivial to some of you, but they are important to me.  One of my goals has been to write down what I am thankful for on a more regular basis, or at least to be more conscious of those day-to-day things the Lord organizes to make my life just so much more pleasant.

    Thankfulness #1.  A couple of days ago I randomly sent a message to a friend, asking what she was doing next Monday.  She immediately recalled I had said I have out-of-town guests and asked if I needed a car for something.  She then continued to say she could try to ask for the day off, or she could request a shift if she knew in advance when I might need her and the car.  It warmed my heart that someone would try to re-arrange their entire schedule just to drive me somewhere. :)

    Thankfulness #2.  I have been down with a cold all week.  Being the optimist that I am, I thought it would blow over faster, but it is dragging on (the colder temperatures also don't help).  I planned our Sunday worship lineup and was prepared to go to practise tonight, but last night, I realized I was in no shape to sing or lead a rehearsal.  I messaged a couple of my team members, one of whom I knew was planning on taking the week off, and they immediately said -- no, you should stay home and rest, we will take care of everything!  Needless to say, I am truly thankful for the graciousness and maturity my team exhibits.  They are the best!

     Thankfulness #3.  I hosted my cell group a couple of days ago, but because I have had a cold, I didn't have the energy or inspiration to prepare any interesting snacks (I often do!).  I also didn't ask anyone to bring anything either!  I was pleasantly surprised when they came to the door and we had plenty of snacks.  The best part was someone had brought not one, but TWO packages of raspberries and I absolutely LOVE raspberries, but don't always find them in my local supermarket.  I had the leftovers for breakfast and felt truly thankful that the Lord would care about these sorts of seemingly insignificant details.

     What are some things that YOU are thankful for this week?   How has God been showing you His love daily?  Feel free to comment below, or start your own list. :) 

    

    
 

Kingdom Singers -- the story behind my new choir

      After much prayer, deliberation, and prodding from friends and other singers, I started rehearsals for a new choir in the fall of 2017.

     Although I have sung in choirs all my life, I have never felt the desire to conduct a choir, let alone actually be the founder of one!!!  To make matters even worse, I don't like starting things that might fail, and believe me, there are a lot of things that can go wrong when you lead a choir, especially a new one!!!

     We started in September with about 30 people on our sign-up list and a good 20 who arrived at the first rehearsal, many of whom I did not know personally.  The youngest person in the room was finishing high school and the oldest was retired, and we had everything in between.  And that is when the little voice in the back of my head went off  Each and every possible insecurity came to the forefront for me -- are these people going to get along with each other, are they going to like me, can they sing and what do I know about choirs anyway?

     So what did I do?  I knew the choir was God's will.  He had made that really clear.  I had no choice but to trust Him and not my own feelings on the matter.  As rehearsals continued, I asked Him for wisdom.  One morning, I woke up at 5am and suddenly felt the Lord wanted to talk to me about choir rehearsals -- namely, that I wasn't leading them the way He wanted.  Having sung for many years in professional choirs and being a well-trained musician, I spent most of our rehearsals focusing on singing the right notes and making a good sound.  Because we only meet every other week, I try to use rehearsal time as effectively as possible.  Now there is nothing wrong in that actually -- we are instructed to give our best to the Lord.  However, this time, I felt Him prodding me to model worship, and not just practice songs.

    The following evening, we had choir practise.  However, after vocal warmups, I sat down at the piano and explained to my singers that this time, we would not directly rehearse any of our current repertoire, even though we had upcoming gigs.  Instead, we would hang out with Jesus.  I encouraged them to stand, sit, lie down, move away from the pews (we rehearse in a church), write things down if God spoke to them, or open the Bible.  Then I started playing and singing whatever I felt on my heart.  I pushed back the voice of insecurity which was trying to tell me that people might feel uncomfortable for one reason or another -- and I decided to worship an audience of One.

    The results were actually very amazing, and surprisingly, everyone had only positive things to say.  One person commented why Sunday church couldn't look like this, and another revealed that God had indeed spoken to him.  Someone else shared a Bible verse.  Since then, we have periodically used rehearsal time for open worship sessions, and at the end of our first year, one singer commented that those were the best part of choir by far. 

     I have gained a new understanding of the verse from Proverbs 3, which encourages us to ¨trust in the Lord with all Your heart, and lean not on your own understanding.¨

     As we approach our one year anniversary, here is a quick look back at this past year:

     Our very first gig at the end of October, came after just a handful of rehearsals.  It was a music festival in Kerava, with many other international and Finnish choirs.  Mighty God, You are was written by my long-time friend Andreas Forsberg, and he is the featured soloist in this video.

     Kingdom Singers was founded to inspire and encourage the local church in praise and worship of our almighty King.  However, we were not expecting our first church service to take place in the Helsinki Cathedral downtown, on the 100th anniversary of Finland's Independence, but God is cool that way!   Here is the closing song from that service.

     Our spring term included a service at the International Evangelical Church in downtown Helsinki, as well as at Andreaskyrkan, a Swedish speaking congregation.  One of the aims of our choir has been to include songs in Finnish, English and Swedish, and to break down the language and generational barriers that we sadly often find in churches today.   

     Thankful for a fruitful and fun first year and looking forward to 2018!  If you are interested in singing with us or in having us at your church, please write to kingdomsingersfinland@gmail.com.




    


    

TV interview thoughts

     There is nothing like logging onto Facebook after being out of town in the countryside the entire weekend, and noticing that on your newsfeed, a Christian TV channel has featured an interview you did in 2015 and actually had conveniently forgotten about.....

     Truth be told, I just about loathe being on TV.  Newspaper interviews are not a whole lot better -- I did one last year as PR for a local event and was so nervous, I could barely get myself out of my chair at the end.  I still haven't been able to watch the TV interview in its entirety, although a couple of my close friends assure me that it went just fine (I hope they are telling the truth!).

    However, Himlen TV7 decided to make a 4 minute mini-Youtube version of the interview and today I literally forced myself to watch it (I kept my eyes closed at times).  Although I still find it really eerie to hear myself speaking Swedish, I actually agreed with the content of the interview (which maybe shouldn't be so surprising, since they were my thoughts!!).  Some of the things I managed to touch upon include the importance of embracing diverse musical styles in our churches today, and not limiting ourselves to one style.  In this way, we are inclusive and encourage multi-generational worship services, which are very important as we can learn from one another.  In addition, I believe that our calling from the Lord is usually not a static one, but something which is constantly changing as He molds us.  In fact, if we knew everything He asked us to do right from day one, we would probably be too scared to do anything, so He often reveals things slowly.

     Seeing the interview on Facebook today also reminded me about what I should be focusing on.  In all honesty, it is easy for me to become distracted and de-motivated at times -- much of leading worship can feel like a chore when you do the same things every week (picking songs, writing chord charts, rehearsing with amateur musicians and getting to church early on a Sunday).  However, it is when we are faithful in the small things that the Lord can really use us to change the people and situations around us.  And although TV and newspaper interviews are not my thing and I don't feel at all qualified to do them, I know that one small step of obedience often blesses other people.

   If you speak Swedish, you can watch the shorter Youtube-version here or the complete version here.  If you do manage to watch the whole thing, please let me know what you think and even better -- remind me what I said, because it might just be that I need to hear it again from someone else. :)

Untitled

    I was exiting the train station last night at around 8pm, when I spotted a middle-aged man coming towards me.  He said hello and asked me how I was.  I didn't recognize him and since strangers in Finland don't normally make conversation with other strangers, I answered briefly and continued walking.  Approximately five minutes later, I saw the man on the other side of the street.  Since there is really only one exit to the train station, and I had assumed he was going there, I immediately started wondering at what point he had turned around and started following me.

    I didn't have to wait long to find out because he then crossed to my side of the street and ran a little in front of me before trying to resume conversation.  Again, he said hello and asked me how I was doing, but this time I was beginning to panic a bit (the street was really quiet), so I ignored him and continued walking, but not before his body language registered despair.  I made it to my destination a few minutes later and thought nothing of the entire scenario until this morning. 

    You see, the man whom I met had dark skin and was most likely also a foreigner in a strange country.  I felt somewhat guilty for not wanting to make conversation with him.  Had this situation happened on a bus or tram, I surely would have talked to him -- in fact, I have often had strangers tell me their life story while on public transport (I guess I look sympathetic, or just very non-intimidating).  However, it is almost always the case that if I meet a man alone, especially in the evening, and he tries to make any kind of contact, I opt to just keep walking.  I realize it shouldn't be like this, but I am also interested in my own safety, and six years of living in New York City have taught me that looking out for myself is actually a very wise thing to do.  I never needed a campaign such as #metoo in order to innately understand that women are often the victims of violence and abuse.  In addition, being petite has also meant I have had my fair share of unpleasant situations to learn from, but thankfully none of them have had drastic consequences.

     I pondered a little if I should have done something different.  One option would have been to ask if he needed help or was lost; however, I also know asking questions is often a stalling technique, and I wasn't sure I was interested in waiting around to find out what he had in mind.

    Of course, I don't have to defend my actions, because the man last night did not make his intentions very clear.  I have no way of knowing if he was after sex or if I had met him at an event and he wanted to reconnect (very possible, given my line of work).  Although great progress has been made in the area of gender equality, as a general rule, I am perfectly willing to admit that women are still physically weaker and therefore need to be on their guard -- however, it makes me a bit sad to feel that there is no better alternative than to just turn around and walk away when someone might indeed have needed help.  What would you have done?