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    I was exiting the train station last night at around 8pm, when I spotted a middle-aged man coming towards me.  He said hello and asked me how I was.  I didn't recognize him and since strangers in Finland don't normally make conversation with other strangers, I answered briefly and continued walking.  Approximately five minutes later, I saw the man on the other side of the street.  Since there is really only one exit to the train station, and I had assumed he was going there, I immediately started wondering at what point he had turned around and started following me.

    I didn't have to wait long to find out because he then crossed to my side of the street and ran a little in front of me before trying to resume conversation.  Again, he said hello and asked me how I was doing, but this time I was beginning to panic a bit (the street was really quiet), so I ignored him and continued walking, but not before his body language registered despair.  I made it to my destination a few minutes later and thought nothing of the entire scenario until this morning. 

    You see, the man whom I met had dark skin and was most likely also a foreigner in a strange country.  I felt somewhat guilty for not wanting to make conversation with him.  Had this situation happened on a bus or tram, I surely would have talked to him -- in fact, I have often had strangers tell me their life story while on public transport (I guess I look sympathetic, or just very non-intimidating).  However, it is almost always the case that if I meet a man alone, especially in the evening, and he tries to make any kind of contact, I opt to just keep walking.  I realize it shouldn't be like this, but I am also interested in my own safety, and six years of living in New York City have taught me that looking out for myself is actually a very wise thing to do.  I never needed a campaign such as #metoo in order to innately understand that women are often the victims of violence and abuse.  In addition, being petite has also meant I have had my fair share of unpleasant situations to learn from, but thankfully none of them have had drastic consequences.

     I pondered a little if I should have done something different.  One option would have been to ask if he needed help or was lost; however, I also know asking questions is often a stalling technique, and I wasn't sure I was interested in waiting around to find out what he had in mind.

    Of course, I don't have to defend my actions, because the man last night did not make his intentions very clear.  I have no way of knowing if he was after sex or if I had met him at an event and he wanted to reconnect (very possible, given my line of work).  Although great progress has been made in the area of gender equality, as a general rule, I am perfectly willing to admit that women are still physically weaker and therefore need to be on their guard -- however, it makes me a bit sad to feel that there is no better alternative than to just turn around and walk away when someone might indeed have needed help.  What would you have done?