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    I was exiting the train station last night at around 8pm, when I spotted a middle-aged man coming towards me.  He said hello and asked me how I was.  I didn't recognize him and since strangers in Finland don't normally make conversation with other strangers, I answered briefly and continued walking.  Approximately five minutes later, I saw the man on the other side of the street.  Since there is really only one exit to the train station, and I had assumed he was going there, I immediately started wondering at what point he had turned around and started following me.

    I didn't have to wait long to find out because he then crossed to my side of the street and ran a little in front of me before trying to resume conversation.  Again, he said hello and asked me how I was doing, but this time I was beginning to panic a bit (the street was really quiet), so I ignored him and continued walking, but not before his body language registered despair.  I made it to my destination a few minutes later and thought nothing of the entire scenario until this morning. 

    You see, the man whom I met had dark skin and was most likely also a foreigner in a strange country.  I felt somewhat guilty for not wanting to make conversation with him.  Had this situation happened on a bus or tram, I surely would have talked to him -- in fact, I have often had strangers tell me their life story while on public transport (I guess I look sympathetic, or just very non-intimidating).  However, it is almost always the case that if I meet a man alone, especially in the evening, and he tries to make any kind of contact, I opt to just keep walking.  I realize it shouldn't be like this, but I am also interested in my own safety, and six years of living in New York City have taught me that looking out for myself is actually a very wise thing to do.  I never needed a campaign such as #metoo in order to innately understand that women are often the victims of violence and abuse.  In addition, being petite has also meant I have had my fair share of unpleasant situations to learn from, but thankfully none of them have had drastic consequences.

     I pondered a little if I should have done something different.  One option would have been to ask if he needed help or was lost; however, I also know asking questions is often a stalling technique, and I wasn't sure I was interested in waiting around to find out what he had in mind.

    Of course, I don't have to defend my actions, because the man last night did not make his intentions very clear.  I have no way of knowing if he was after sex or if I had met him at an event and he wanted to reconnect (very possible, given my line of work).  Although great progress has been made in the area of gender equality, as a general rule, I am perfectly willing to admit that women are still physically weaker and therefore need to be on their guard -- however, it makes me a bit sad to feel that there is no better alternative than to just turn around and walk away when someone might indeed have needed help.  What would you have done?

Music theory and reading the Bible

One of the goals of my recent vacation was to spend more time reading the Bible (and other books!).   Here are some random things I discovered through my extended time in God's word.

First of all, I am no theologian or Bible scholar.  Although I attended some evening Bible school classes while living in New York, I have never studied anything extensively, although I wish I had. To compensate for this, I often ask the Lord to teach me things as I read.

Reading the Bible for me is often like analyzing a multi-movement instrumental work.  Let me try to explain this.  I am a music theorist and I actually like analyzing music for my own enjoyment (I know, now I sound like a geek!), although it is also part of my job when teaching at the conservatory. When I analyze a given movement or piece, I often look at several layers -- the small details (such as harmonic language, rhythmic patterns and the movement of the melody), larger gestures and then the bigger picture.  In the same way, I love re-reading familiar passages of scripture and scouring for new details.  I often read these aloud, going over them several times if necessary. When I examine less familiar (or forgotten!) passages, I read more quickly to try to get a grasp on the overall story or situation.

For example, this morning, I starting reading out of Matthew 8 -- passages that I heard about as a child in Sunday school and which I have read many times.  It dawned on me that Jesus healed many people who came to Him and first asked for healing.  However, He also healed those who came on behalf of someone else, for example, the centurion in Capernaum whose servant was sick. I also noticed the centurion's humble answer when Jesus agreed to come to his home -- the centurion said he wasn't worthy to receive such a visitor.  Jesus immediately claimed the servant healed and they parted ways.  Finally, I noticed that Jesus, upon entering Peter's home and seeing Peter's mother lying with fever, immediately touched and healed her (Matthew 8:14-15).

I asked God to speak to me about this passage so that I could practically apply the scripture to my own life.  Immediately, it dawned on me that according to the scriptures, Jesus never turned anyone away who asked for healing -- never.  The second thing that hit me is that I can ask for healing for others (this prompted me to immediately pray for a couple of sick people I know!), and finally, Jesus' compassion on noticing an ill person and healing without prompting reminded me of His infinite grace and compassion.  When I continued reading further in Matthew, I realized once again that we have been given this same mandate and authority to touch, pray for and heal others (eg. Matthew 10:8).  In fact, this is a recurring theme throughout the entire New Testament, quite in the same way that we see recurring themes in music, and therefore, we understand its significance for us today.

This post is getting long, so I think I will examine other analytical methods another day!  By the way, if you have ever studied Schenkerian music theory, you will recognize that my description of three layers comes from Schenker's concept of foreground, middleground and background respectively.  However, if you don't know anything about music theory, I hope you still enjoyed this post!

I would be curious to know how others read the Bible, so please feel free to comment below on your own strategies and methods!

Moving abroad (Part 1)

People often ask me what it is like to live in a foreign country, far from family and friends.  I never really know how to answer the question, because a truly thorough response would require hours to formulate.  For the most part, I have always been one who is too busy living life to reflect on it fully. and generally our impressions of a larger life experience will always be compromised of the sum of everyday interactions and experiences.  In any case, this blog post is my attempt to partially answer that question.

Moving to a new country could maybe be described as a personal journey of discovery. To begin with, you have to figure out a lot of things, and preferably rather quickly. These include practical matters, such as how to open a bank account and obtain a personal identification number (without which it is pretty hard to accomplish almost anything else), how to pay your taxes, as well as where to buy certain items.  For example, I went looking for contact lens solution in the regular grocery store and then in the pharmacy, as that is where I would find it back home, and it took me a long time to discover that it is only sold in special eyeglass shops! 

I have done a lot of things in the past seven years that I probably would never have done if I had stayed in North America.  The first on that list would be speaking three languages almost daily.  People often ask me if I think in Swedish -- the truth is, I quite frequently pray in Swedish as well as dream in it!  In addition, I always said I would never, ever conduct a choir, and now I lead not one but two choirs, one of which I founded just last year.  Life takes you on unexpected adventures sometimes.

When I first moved to Helsinki, I braved my fears of new situations and set off to find a church on my own one Sunday. That involved entering a building full of strangers speaking a language I couldn't yet understand.  I am really glad I walked into that church, because I served there many years and have met some amazing people who are still close friends to this day!  In addition to churches, I have also attended parties, work functions, choir rehearsals and other musical events where I didn't know anyone in the beginning.  Most of the time, I end up having a lot of fun, but on occasion I have been at a function and spent most of it staring into my tea cup until I could safely leave.  Thankfully, that doesn't happen very often!

If I could perhaps sum up my experience though, it would be to say that moving abroad has given me the opportunity to trust the Lord in both small and larger areas of my life.  I prayed that if moving to Helsinki was His will, that He would take care of the practical things, such as money and housing.  My first couple of apartments were all unadvertised posts -- a friend of a friend or an acquaintance would get in touch and suddenly, I had a place to live.  When I finally found my own apartment and needed furniture, a good friend called to say she was relocating and wanted to know if I needed a couch, laundry machine, and kitchenware.  Suddenly, within minutes, I had a fully furnished apartment, complete with curtains and decorations.  However, God likes to go above and beyond the bare necessities -- I cannot even count the number of times someone has had an extra ticket to a concert or a musical, a fancy dinner, and even a boat cruise, and has thought to call me.  Faith is like a muscle and the more I have seen the Lord answer my prayers, the easier it becomes to trust Him in all areas of my life.  Moving halfway across the world, leaving the familiar behind, happened to be the perfect environment for Him to show me how much He truly loves me.  

The Jar of Tears

A few months ago I gave a devotion on fear at a local event.  We looked at 1 John 4:18 and how perfect love drives out fear.  We know that this perfect love only comes from the Father above and we know that He is always good, so we don't need to be afraid.

Sounds really simple, right?

If we know this about love, we don't need to be afraid.  However, sometimes life throws you a curve ball and fear creeps in.  A couple of months ago, I found myself feeling very guilty for being afraid.  I would cry myself to sleep and then feel horribly ashamed for having done so -- only to have this repeated a couple of nights later. Then I stumbled across Psalm 56.  The writer opens by saying, ¨Whenever I am afraid, I trust in You.¨  It is as if the Psalmist has gone through great agony, because in verse 8, he reminds us that our tears are collected in a bottle, and that the Lord keeps record of them.

Now that is a beautiful picture.  Reflect on it for a moment -- God loves us so much that even when we are afraid and unable to trust Him, He collects our tears.  It isn't just that He knows how many we have shed.  He collects them and walks with us in love until the day the tears cease, when we are with Him in heaven.

So the next time you are afraid and you find the tears threatening to overflow, remember that the Lord will help you drive out that fear with His perfect love.

The gift of music

Just before Christmas, I received a call from a young lady who was calling on behalf of her mother, who didn't speak English, but who wanted to give singing lessons to her husband as a Christmas gift.  Over the years, I have had several inquiries like this, usually via my website or through recommendations.  These kinds of requests literally make my day.  Often, the person inquiring about lessons will tell me how much their spouse loves to listen to and make music.  Each story of music's role in a person's life is different and beautiful, especially when told through someone else's eyes.

Let me let you in on a secret. I am really horrible at gift giving, mostly because most people I know are like me -- we all have too much stuff in our cupboards already.  In addition to music lessons, there are so many gifts that are very affordable and don't take up any room in our cupboards!  These include an encouraging card, a walk in the park, or a home-cooked meal.

Many of my students have young children at home and/or jobs requiring them to travel, and I always admire their dedication to something that is in most cases, ¨just a hobby.¨  Even more so, I admire their spouse's generosity in not only giving lessons as a gift, but providing space and time for the learning to happen.  And perhaps that is the greatest gift of all -- encouraging another to pursue the things that are most closest to their heart.

If you are interested in singing lessons, feel free to check out:  www.singinglessonshelsinki.wordpress.com.