I haven't blogged in almost two months and that is perhaps no big surprise, given that the academic year has begun, and with it, all kinds of responsibilities! In all honesty, I've been working non-stop, and to make things even more challenging, I managed to book every weekend solid throughout the month of September! What was I THINKING? However, I'm falling into a rhythm and had a chance to relax last weekend, so there is hope in sight!
Fall is truly here up in the north, and with it, crisp mornings and a dazzling array of colours adorns the trees. In fact, I have a lovely view from my living room window out into the yard! Earlier today, I took a walk in the neighbourhood and there was a lovely blanket of reds and oranges covering entire areas! It was truly a delight to go crunching through the piles on my way!
My only issue with fall is what comes after it -- the long, frigid, dark winter we have up here. I've grown up with cold winters all my life, although these past two have been especially snowy. Today as I was taking my walk, a gust of wind blew, causing a small shiver and I immediately was reminded of that inevitable winter, set to grace our paths in but a few short weeks. And then I chided myself, because I realized this kind of thinking is robbing me from enjoying the present splendour. Instead of being thankful that we've had very little rain, here I am worrying about the snow when it hasn't even arrived yet!
Have you noticed that our lives also have seasons? Right now, I am in a season of discovery and great joy, having just embarked on several new personal projects (more on those in future blog posts!). In addition, my work place is a breeding ground for the exchange of ideas (scholarly, pedagogical, musical and otherwise) and personal growth on so many levels, and did I mention that I have fantastic, helpful colleagues who are fun? I'm embracing all of these new and exciting things and sometimes, I have to pinch myself to be sure it's still me. Not a bad place to be. However, I recall seasons of my life which were less than ideal -- where I questioned my self-worth, relationships, my career, my purpose and yes, even my existence. Perhaps you have been there too. This popular song by Matt Redman comes to mind:
"you give and take away, you give and take away
my heart will choose to say, "blessed be your name."'
Just yesterday, a close friend recounted how much this song meant to her during a particularly high season in her life. At once, she felt the Lord challenge her to sing these words when the going gets rough, and indeed soon enough, her time of trial and testing came, and yet she was still able to sing the same song. And so it is that in all things, in all seasons, we CHOOSE to bless the name of our creator who made both the winter's snowflakes and the brilliantly coloured leaves of fall. Furthermore, in those seasons of great happiness, we gather faith to endure those times of hardship.
Seasons. The rhythm of life that we have received. Woven throughout is our song, the thread that binds all it touches together in praise.
Friday, October 11, 2013
Saturday, August 17, 2013
Preparation -- the key to success?
Last night I dreamed that I was teaching a random group of former students and had not adequately prepared. I managed to make it through the most of the lesson, until it was time to give homework, only to discover I couldn't find the assignment I had prepared and in my dream, this was a source of huge stress! I woke up feeling rather anxious and then reminded myself that the students probably would not have been so terribly upset about this predicament.
The dream seems to indicate that at least subconsciously, I'm aware I have quite a bit of work to do before the academic term begins! In order to be successful as both a teacher and performer, I need to be well prepared. Unfortunately, preparation requires planning on my part, and that has never been something I enjoy, so this morning, I started making a to-do list, along with deadlines and a breakdown of tasks. Since planning an entire undergraduate course from scratch is a daunting task, it helps if I divide up the work into more manageable sections.
In addition, today I was contemplating some long term goals that have somehow fallen by the wayside and I realized, if I'm going to achieve them, I will have to devote some attention in that direction.
When I was in grad school, a teacher of mine constantly told us, "success in the music world is really only 20% talent. The rest is sheer hard work." He was right -- the people from my class still working in music today are those who always came to rehearsal with every note learned. This doesn't only apply to music either. Growing up, I remember watching my brothers prepare for tennis tournaments. Not only did they train constantly, they also adhered to a proper diet and sleep schedule. In their spare time, they created strategies or tried to learn about their opponent, just to have an extra edge. They were determined to win.
Keep dreaming big and remember -- preparation really is the key to success!
The dream seems to indicate that at least subconsciously, I'm aware I have quite a bit of work to do before the academic term begins! In order to be successful as both a teacher and performer, I need to be well prepared. Unfortunately, preparation requires planning on my part, and that has never been something I enjoy, so this morning, I started making a to-do list, along with deadlines and a breakdown of tasks. Since planning an entire undergraduate course from scratch is a daunting task, it helps if I divide up the work into more manageable sections.
In addition, today I was contemplating some long term goals that have somehow fallen by the wayside and I realized, if I'm going to achieve them, I will have to devote some attention in that direction.
When I was in grad school, a teacher of mine constantly told us, "success in the music world is really only 20% talent. The rest is sheer hard work." He was right -- the people from my class still working in music today are those who always came to rehearsal with every note learned. This doesn't only apply to music either. Growing up, I remember watching my brothers prepare for tennis tournaments. Not only did they train constantly, they also adhered to a proper diet and sleep schedule. In their spare time, they created strategies or tried to learn about their opponent, just to have an extra edge. They were determined to win.
Keep dreaming big and remember -- preparation really is the key to success!
Monday, August 12, 2013
Songs of adventure
Exactly two years ago today, I began a new adventure, uprooting myself from my comfortable North American hometown, to a small city in Northern Europe. I've encountered culture shock, and am still struggling to communicate in not only one, but two, distinct new languages. In addition, the practical concerns of relocation, such as necessary paperwork and orientation within a new place, still occasionally threaten to drown me in the dark abyss of despair, even two years later.
However, the adventurer in me has made a preliminary start on both foreign languages and is accepting all kinds of new personal, vocational and artistic challenges every day. The greatest blessings have come in the form of a home-cooked meal, accompanied by heart-to-heart talks late into the night, my richly decorated flat courtesy of friends themselves in the midst of relocating, walks by the beach or through the woods, and hours spent singing together in homes and at churches, for weddings, funerals and special events.
You learn a lot about a group of people through their songs. Indeed, you learn even more if you are brave enough to sing those songs alongside them -- no matter how imperfect the singing.
This adventure -- the forest paths, the roads not taken -- have been illuminated by another voice, sometimes whispering softly in my heart, other times singing along with me at unison or in harmony... the voice of my heavenly Father, which has led me every step of the way. To be sure, when things are not looking so bright, there have been numerous nights when I have tossed about restlessly, filled with doubt and anxiety, half-wondering if I'm following a crazy dream or a living nightmare? However, after wrestling within myself, that voice, which once seemed so very elusive, reveals itself, lucid enough for me to be very certain of one thing -- I am not alone in this world.
Therefore, I dare to live, drinking of the cup that overflows and never runs dry, intermingling the melodies of both new and old.
I am not alone in this adventure -- the adventure we call life, and seeing as how I still have many songs yet to learn, I think I will stay here awhile.
However, the adventurer in me has made a preliminary start on both foreign languages and is accepting all kinds of new personal, vocational and artistic challenges every day. The greatest blessings have come in the form of a home-cooked meal, accompanied by heart-to-heart talks late into the night, my richly decorated flat courtesy of friends themselves in the midst of relocating, walks by the beach or through the woods, and hours spent singing together in homes and at churches, for weddings, funerals and special events.
You learn a lot about a group of people through their songs. Indeed, you learn even more if you are brave enough to sing those songs alongside them -- no matter how imperfect the singing.
This adventure -- the forest paths, the roads not taken -- have been illuminated by another voice, sometimes whispering softly in my heart, other times singing along with me at unison or in harmony... the voice of my heavenly Father, which has led me every step of the way. To be sure, when things are not looking so bright, there have been numerous nights when I have tossed about restlessly, filled with doubt and anxiety, half-wondering if I'm following a crazy dream or a living nightmare? However, after wrestling within myself, that voice, which once seemed so very elusive, reveals itself, lucid enough for me to be very certain of one thing -- I am not alone in this world.
Therefore, I dare to live, drinking of the cup that overflows and never runs dry, intermingling the melodies of both new and old.
I am not alone in this adventure -- the adventure we call life, and seeing as how I still have many songs yet to learn, I think I will stay here awhile.
Tuesday, July 23, 2013
Angels
I believe in angels.
Last night I came home quite late and paused momentarily outside my apartment complex to survey the rows of balconies, when out came a neighbour whom I learned had just moved into the building earlier that day. Since we knew each other from before, we began to talk, and she asked for directions to the bus stop, as she was on her way to drop off her sister-in-law. I offered to take them there directly, and all three of us ladies proceeded along happily, remarking on the greenery that permeates every spare inch of earth as we went. Suddenly, the sister-in-law exclaimed that they had assumed the stop was in another direction completely, and how glad she was that I had just appeared outside the building, like an angel! Then my new neighbour took out a key chain, recently given as a gift and engraved with a short prayer that the recipient would always experience angels when walking through life.
Having safely seen that the sister-in-law caught the correct bus, I then offered to acquaint my neighbour with the surrounding area. As we strolled through, I pointed out the local corner and grocery store, as well as some more eccentric finds, such as the vendor selling coffee and pasteries who sometimes appears in the otherwise deserted market square. And even though it was very late, we returned home to my place for a lovely cup of tea.
The evening took me back in time to a day almost two years ago, when I myself moved to the very same neighbourhood. I had just traveled many miles from a large, diverse North American city to a smaller one in Northern Europe, and understandably, I arrived tired and bewildered. On that day, I entered my new home and was just beginning to wonder how on earth I would begin to orient myself, when a neighbour whom I had met but only once, happened to pass by as I was standing in the hallway. He was going for a walk and suggested I come along for some fresh air. Just as I had done with my new neighbour yesterday, he introduced me step-by-step to my new surroundings. On the way home, we stopped by the grocery store and later that evening, he invited me for a home-cooked meal. Over dinner, we chatted about culture and milestones in our lives, and he related that soon, he too would be relocating to another land and I prayed there would be angels waiting to meet him at his destination.
Last night I came home quite late and paused momentarily outside my apartment complex to survey the rows of balconies, when out came a neighbour whom I learned had just moved into the building earlier that day. Since we knew each other from before, we began to talk, and she asked for directions to the bus stop, as she was on her way to drop off her sister-in-law. I offered to take them there directly, and all three of us ladies proceeded along happily, remarking on the greenery that permeates every spare inch of earth as we went. Suddenly, the sister-in-law exclaimed that they had assumed the stop was in another direction completely, and how glad she was that I had just appeared outside the building, like an angel! Then my new neighbour took out a key chain, recently given as a gift and engraved with a short prayer that the recipient would always experience angels when walking through life.
Having safely seen that the sister-in-law caught the correct bus, I then offered to acquaint my neighbour with the surrounding area. As we strolled through, I pointed out the local corner and grocery store, as well as some more eccentric finds, such as the vendor selling coffee and pasteries who sometimes appears in the otherwise deserted market square. And even though it was very late, we returned home to my place for a lovely cup of tea.
The evening took me back in time to a day almost two years ago, when I myself moved to the very same neighbourhood. I had just traveled many miles from a large, diverse North American city to a smaller one in Northern Europe, and understandably, I arrived tired and bewildered. On that day, I entered my new home and was just beginning to wonder how on earth I would begin to orient myself, when a neighbour whom I had met but only once, happened to pass by as I was standing in the hallway. He was going for a walk and suggested I come along for some fresh air. Just as I had done with my new neighbour yesterday, he introduced me step-by-step to my new surroundings. On the way home, we stopped by the grocery store and later that evening, he invited me for a home-cooked meal. Over dinner, we chatted about culture and milestones in our lives, and he related that soon, he too would be relocating to another land and I prayed there would be angels waiting to meet him at his destination.
Saturday, July 20, 2013
Body language and the performer
My brother sent me a video the other day that was extremely intriguing. This inspiring TED talk was given by scientist Amy Cuddy and entitled "Your body language shapes who you are." In the video, Cuddy shows us that our own body language shapes not only what others think of us -- but also how we view ourselves. She presented case studies, exploring how spread-out, "large" postures release hormones that lower our stress levels and increase our assertiveness levels, whereas smaller postures create the opposite effect.
As a performer, I have always known that posture impacts not only the audience's perception of us on a surface level, but our own ability to use our bodies to their fullest capacity while making music. To this end, musicians often study Alexander technique or take classes in Pilates, both of which focus on building certain muscle groups, as well as on promoting body alignment.
However, there is another issue affecting confidence which musicians, myself included, regularly encounter and that is performance anxiety. This is something most artists do not wish to share publicly with their audience; however, the honest truth is that performers often go to huge ends in order to cope with this potentially volatile and disastrous monster. Unfortunately, these coping mechanisms at their worst (which the media so enjoys hyping up) include substance abuse. On a more positive level, much research has been done on learning to control, or relax the mind in order to increase performance levels in artists as well as athletes. Cuddy's science will also have many applications in this area, because she demonstrates that one can alter hormones before the big event or performance (in her case study, this major event is actually a highly stressful job interview). Envision a violinist standing backstage for a few minutes, hands on hips, feet spread out and firmly planted, as a means by which to decrease stress levels before a major audition or debut. I absolutely intend to experiment with this myself and with my students! In addition, I'd be interested to know your thoughts on this, as well as any other applications you have tried whether you are an artist or work in another field, so please feel free to post in the comment section!
Here is the complete talk: http://www.ted.com/talks/amy_cuddy_your_body_language_shapes_who_you_are.html?source=email#.UeYe7wzh_9P.email
As a performer, I have always known that posture impacts not only the audience's perception of us on a surface level, but our own ability to use our bodies to their fullest capacity while making music. To this end, musicians often study Alexander technique or take classes in Pilates, both of which focus on building certain muscle groups, as well as on promoting body alignment.
However, there is another issue affecting confidence which musicians, myself included, regularly encounter and that is performance anxiety. This is something most artists do not wish to share publicly with their audience; however, the honest truth is that performers often go to huge ends in order to cope with this potentially volatile and disastrous monster. Unfortunately, these coping mechanisms at their worst (which the media so enjoys hyping up) include substance abuse. On a more positive level, much research has been done on learning to control, or relax the mind in order to increase performance levels in artists as well as athletes. Cuddy's science will also have many applications in this area, because she demonstrates that one can alter hormones before the big event or performance (in her case study, this major event is actually a highly stressful job interview). Envision a violinist standing backstage for a few minutes, hands on hips, feet spread out and firmly planted, as a means by which to decrease stress levels before a major audition or debut. I absolutely intend to experiment with this myself and with my students! In addition, I'd be interested to know your thoughts on this, as well as any other applications you have tried whether you are an artist or work in another field, so please feel free to post in the comment section!
Here is the complete talk: http://www.ted.com/talks/amy_cuddy_your_body_language_shapes_who_you_are.html?source=email#.UeYe7wzh_9P.email
Thursday, July 18, 2013
Blessings
A few days ago, a student e-mailed me a new song, asking if we could work on it during her next lesson. The lyrics immediately caught my attention:
Cause what if Your blessings come through raindrops
What if Your healing comes through tears
What if a thousand sleepless nights are what it takes to know You're near
--Laura Story, "Blessings"
In the song, the author presents a different view from the perhaps more widely accepted associations that come to mind when we ponder blessings -- wealth, good health, freedom from pain, peace, protection, wisdom. She asks us to consider that perhaps when the Lord puts us through pain, He is in fact seeking to draw us closer to Him and that this is the biggest blessing of all. Note that she does not state praying for good gifts is unacceptable in the Lord's eyes; rather she assures that He hears, and responds to our pleas with "yet love is way too much to give us lesser things."
The song closes with with this final thought:
What if my greatest disappointments,
Or the aching of this life,
Is the revealing of a greater thirst this world can't satisfy.
What if trials of this life,
The rain, the storms, the hardest nights
Are your mercies in disguise?
This longing for heaven would not permeate our hearts, if our lives here on earth now would be completely satisfactory in every sense and we would never experience pain or suffering. This is thought-provoking and indeed, a challenging notion to ponder, because most of us wouldn't shout out, "I'm so blessed to struggle every month to pay the rent," me included.
Last night, I read the narrative behind Laura's song on her website and was not entirely surprised to learn that she herself had wrestled with these very thoughts during her husband's cancer diagnosis, and subsequent treatment. When prayers seemed in vain and he remained unhealed, she turned to the Lord and questioned what we call blessings.
I turned to my own life and realized I too have many times questioned God's goodness in this same area. Over the years, I have learned that falling into the pity party pit is a destructive hole indeed; however, how many sleepless nights have I spent crying out and wondering if God is really there and if He is, why wouldn't He wish to heal me, since I firmly believe He is able to? I have also occasionally paused to consider if those who have never felt pain would be able to empathize with the rest of the world, and if they are truly happier people. Many greater thinkers than I have written on the subject of unanswered prayer and why the Lord allows suffering and I don't seek to address them all here -- rather, I turn back to Laura's song and our notion of blessing. I am grateful for the affirmation that it is indeed okay to question and wrestle for a redefinition of the word beyond that of physical comforts and I admit there is so much truth in the concept that through tears, we grow in our character, led to reach out not in our own strength, but beyond that, as we draw nearer to God.
By the way, I highly recommend Laura's music, so go look for her on itunes!
Cause what if Your blessings come through raindrops
What if Your healing comes through tears
What if a thousand sleepless nights are what it takes to know You're near
--Laura Story, "Blessings"
In the song, the author presents a different view from the perhaps more widely accepted associations that come to mind when we ponder blessings -- wealth, good health, freedom from pain, peace, protection, wisdom. She asks us to consider that perhaps when the Lord puts us through pain, He is in fact seeking to draw us closer to Him and that this is the biggest blessing of all. Note that she does not state praying for good gifts is unacceptable in the Lord's eyes; rather she assures that He hears, and responds to our pleas with "yet love is way too much to give us lesser things."
The song closes with with this final thought:
What if my greatest disappointments,
Or the aching of this life,
Is the revealing of a greater thirst this world can't satisfy.
What if trials of this life,
The rain, the storms, the hardest nights
Are your mercies in disguise?
This longing for heaven would not permeate our hearts, if our lives here on earth now would be completely satisfactory in every sense and we would never experience pain or suffering. This is thought-provoking and indeed, a challenging notion to ponder, because most of us wouldn't shout out, "I'm so blessed to struggle every month to pay the rent," me included.
Last night, I read the narrative behind Laura's song on her website and was not entirely surprised to learn that she herself had wrestled with these very thoughts during her husband's cancer diagnosis, and subsequent treatment. When prayers seemed in vain and he remained unhealed, she turned to the Lord and questioned what we call blessings.
I turned to my own life and realized I too have many times questioned God's goodness in this same area. Over the years, I have learned that falling into the pity party pit is a destructive hole indeed; however, how many sleepless nights have I spent crying out and wondering if God is really there and if He is, why wouldn't He wish to heal me, since I firmly believe He is able to? I have also occasionally paused to consider if those who have never felt pain would be able to empathize with the rest of the world, and if they are truly happier people. Many greater thinkers than I have written on the subject of unanswered prayer and why the Lord allows suffering and I don't seek to address them all here -- rather, I turn back to Laura's song and our notion of blessing. I am grateful for the affirmation that it is indeed okay to question and wrestle for a redefinition of the word beyond that of physical comforts and I admit there is so much truth in the concept that through tears, we grow in our character, led to reach out not in our own strength, but beyond that, as we draw nearer to God.
By the way, I highly recommend Laura's music, so go look for her on itunes!
Wednesday, July 10, 2013
New Beginnings
I love new beginnings, whether it be the commencement of a lengthy journey or the first page of a book, a major milestone in life or the inevitable start of a new year. New beginnings bring fresh promise, hope and possibilities, stirring the imagination and allowing us to leave behind the past, or even the mundane, for a brief moment or perhaps a lengthier duration -- if we dare.
So it is with this blog! It has been on my mind for many months now to begin, but somehow the demands of life often take over and before you know it, time has slipped away. Now I have finally succeeded in beginning my first post and that is accompanied by a sense of anticipation for the words yet unwritten, and the thoughts yet to be expressed. Endless possibilities.
However, reflecting over the excitement of new beginnings causes me to consider another, equally significant aspect of our life journey -- that of having stuck with something for many moons, facilitating growth.... that process that requires commitment and tenacity and the ability to revitalize dreams once they start aging. It is easy to get caught up in new beginnings and indeed, there is nothing wrong in reveling in something novel; however, it is even more remarkable to cultivate those new beginnings to maturity.
I paused to ask myself what is it about sticking with a project that is so difficult for me? Perhaps it is because concepts and people, or both, can be complicated and the hope we once saw gets lost somewhere along the path? Sometimes, it may simply be that the old and familiar no longer hold our attention or interest. In this era of easily accessible multimedia, we are easily bored. Conceiving and birthing new ideas has always come naturally to me, but at the same time, I value the legacy that comes from deep, long-lasting relationships and projects that have withstood the test of time. I want to be one who runs the race to the finish and doesn't quit half way when the going gets rough or there's a bump in the road. In short, I seek not only the promise visible from the starting line, but the journey that goes hand-in-hand with it -- a journey, which I hope, will be all the richer because I chose to conquer the road bumps and dared to continuously dream along the way.
So it is with this blog! It has been on my mind for many months now to begin, but somehow the demands of life often take over and before you know it, time has slipped away. Now I have finally succeeded in beginning my first post and that is accompanied by a sense of anticipation for the words yet unwritten, and the thoughts yet to be expressed. Endless possibilities.
However, reflecting over the excitement of new beginnings causes me to consider another, equally significant aspect of our life journey -- that of having stuck with something for many moons, facilitating growth.... that process that requires commitment and tenacity and the ability to revitalize dreams once they start aging. It is easy to get caught up in new beginnings and indeed, there is nothing wrong in reveling in something novel; however, it is even more remarkable to cultivate those new beginnings to maturity.
I paused to ask myself what is it about sticking with a project that is so difficult for me? Perhaps it is because concepts and people, or both, can be complicated and the hope we once saw gets lost somewhere along the path? Sometimes, it may simply be that the old and familiar no longer hold our attention or interest. In this era of easily accessible multimedia, we are easily bored. Conceiving and birthing new ideas has always come naturally to me, but at the same time, I value the legacy that comes from deep, long-lasting relationships and projects that have withstood the test of time. I want to be one who runs the race to the finish and doesn't quit half way when the going gets rough or there's a bump in the road. In short, I seek not only the promise visible from the starting line, but the journey that goes hand-in-hand with it -- a journey, which I hope, will be all the richer because I chose to conquer the road bumps and dared to continuously dream along the way.
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