A few months ago, I received a phone call from the music editor of one of our national newspapers, asking if I would be interested in writing music reviews -- in Swedish. I laughed involuntarily, because up until that point, I had never written anything in Swedish except short text messages and the occasional e-mail. To my mind, the proposition sounded rather ludicrous. I explained all this as cordially as I could, but the editor wasn't so easily deterred, so I promised to sleep on it and give an answer in a couple of days.
My answer ended up being a somewhat lukewarm, ¨I could give this a try, but I am really not sure if I am going to be any good at it.¨ Looking back, that answer reflected my fears all-too-accurately, but it was hard to pinpoint, even for myself, what exactly I was so terribly afraid of. I then realized my biggest struggle was going outside of my comfort zone and doing something completely new, and of which I actually knew very little about. The very thought that failure could well be possible was not very appealing to me, but the only way I was going to know for sure was to try.
Let's face it -- there is something very comforting in the familiar. Whether it is a well-worn pair of jeans, a favourite breakfast cereal or chilling with your best childhood friend, we tend to gravitate towards that which we know. Doing something new is scary and venturing into the unknown is equally terrifying, so most of us stay within well-traveled waters.
Since I have moved countries several times, learned a couple of foreign languages and succeeded in adjusting to a new culture, I actually get asked pretty often how I dared to step into the unknown. I gave the question some thought, and wrote down a few things I try to implement when going outside of my comfort zone:
1. Know yourself. Analyze your strengths and weaknesses so that you can make informed decisions when leaving the safety of what you know. If you struggle working with little kids, but love the elderly, then you want to keep this in mind when job hunting. This knowledge can also help you compensate for any weaknesses -- for example, I know I am not very good at getting certain administrative tasks done which involve going to an unfamiliar place. Recently, I wanted to be sure I would vote in the governmental elections, so I asked to meet up with a friend, who ensured that we both voted. And yes, I know this doesn't sound very grown-up of me, but the point here is that I voted!
2. Ask for advice. When I need to make larger decisions in my life, I often ask people who know me for their opinion. I usually try to choose people who care about me, are well aware of my strengths and weaknesses, and/or have experience in making similar decisions. At the end of the day, the choice to venture into unknown territory is my own, but it helps to discuss it with others and get another perspective.
3. Break it down. Sometimes a task might feel totally overwhelming (such as moving to another country!) and that feeling can turn to fear. However, writing a list of things, along with a corresponding timeline usually helps me to see that not everything needs to be done right away and that smaller goals are indeed manageable. The other advantage to having a list is that it minimizes the chances of inadvertently forgetting to do something!
4. Think outside of the box. There is nothing wrong with re-sizing your comfort zone by doing things a bit differently! A friend of mine once confessed that she had been set up on a blind date, but was too terrified to accept -- my solution was to turn it into a double-date that I also got to take part in, and it ended up being a really enjoyable evening!
5. Be a lifelong learner. If we constantly challenge ourselves to do things that are outside of our normal routine, we become accustomed to it. Whether it is a new language, new foods, a new travel destination, a new hobby, or a new hairdo, we can find small ways to expand our horizons, so that when a larger life transition comes our way, we are in the habit of tackling the unknown.
5. Cultivate a healthy attitude towards failure. I realize almost everyone is afraid of rejection and we try to avoid situations in which we might fail by staying within the safety of known territory. However, the world is full of examples of successful people who were not recognized until much later in life. Realize that your identity is not in what you do, but in who you are.
Finally, remember that we have differing comfort zones -- for me, navigating my way around an unfamiliar city is totally outside of my comfort zone, but calling up a new acquaintance and inviting them over for tea isn't. Be gracious to yourself, breathe, and then dare to say yes to the world outside of the comfort zone.
Please feel free to add to my list by writing in the comments below!
