What does God think about me?

     I am so thankful it is Friday night because this has been such a long week! Sometimes we get very focused on how well we perform.  However, I am not talking about music here -- there are so many ways in which we might feel we don't measure up -- in our relationships, how effective we are at work, how many times we went to the gym during the week, how much we are able to serve at church... and the list goes on.

     We know that in Matthew 11:28-29, Jesus encourages us to give Him our burdens and that He will give us rest.  Maybe you are like me though, and you reflect over your week and the things you should have done better, or you wonder how you can possibly rest when you have a long to-do list waiting?  Procrastinating surely will not help and feelings of guilt actually suck up a lot of our energy.  I would like to propose another kind of rest that comes from truly understanding the heart of God and how much we are loved and cherished.

     You see, when we truly grasp the very nature of God and that He is crazy about us, we don't need to worry about what other people think.  In addition, we can lay those difficult conversations, unanswered e-mails, our financial decisions, our latest work-out plan, and even our insecurities before Him, because I can assure you, God sees past those things into our heart.  His love is not dependent upon our performance, or lack thereof.  His love is unconditional and unmerited.  

     My weekend is looking a bit busy (a rehearsal, three church services, a major document deadline and an overflowing laundry basket!), but I am hanging on to God's truth about me, His unending grace and am confidently trusting that it will be a blessed (and even restful!) weekend.

¨Confidence and courage are a product of knowing who God is and what He thinks about you.¨  Terry Hoggard.

The Purple Heart

Several months ago, I had a group of friends over at my place and a lively discussion arose centered on -- of all things -- heart emojis.  One young lady revealed that she uses yellow hearts for acquaintances or friends she doesn't know very well, while another said she reserves red for very close relationships and special messages.  In addition, the consensus was that green and blue hearts could also be included when wanting to communicate general affection, but the group unanimously agreed that purple hearts often convey a negative meaning, so they avoided purple.

All except me, of course.

It is no small secret that my favourite colour is purple.  I own a relatively large amount of purple clothing and accessories and just today, I was caught writing in my diary in purple ink.

Immediately, the room erupts into laughter, as everyone realizes that I have, in all probability, sent a lot of purple hearts to people whom I care deeply about.  As the discussion continued, we came to a very fundamental conclusion -- communication must take into account the recipient.  No matter how great a communicator you are, understanding your audience is crucial to getting your message heard.  In order to effectively reach out to someone, we need to know their heart, and be aware that their love language could very well be different from our own.

In my world, purple is the colour of royalty! 💜

Grace for the choir conductor

Several months ago, my choir was invited to perform at a large conference involving delegates and leaders from different church denominations within Finland.  The MC had asked if she could interview me before we sang.  I assumed she was going to ask me questions about the choir or about our repertoire and was somewhat taken aback when she began with, ¨the theme for our weekend is grace.  I would like to know -- what is grace for you, as a choir director? ¨

Although my initial reaction was one of surprise, I knew immediately the question was a good one.  However, coming up with an appropriate answer, on the spot in front of so many people, made me feel a bit jittery.  I decided to begin carefully, ¨grace is when all your singers turn up at the right time, to the right place, with the correct music and appropriate attire.¨  This answer garnered a few chuckles from both choir and audience, giving me courage to continue.  ¨Grace is also leading a group of individuals from different nations, who speak different languages, are different in age, but who as a group, have decisively come together to communicate and understand one another in order to create beautiful music.¨

I have continued to reflect on this question since the conference.  My choir is much like any group of people -- families, churches, clubs, organizations, colleagues on the job -- you name it. To be sure, there is a distinct difference in that this is a voluntary group and no one is forced to join if they don't want to; however, occasionally singers admit to me they didn't choose the choir -- they just felt called to be there.  This honest admittance, often said in passing, has brought me to humility in my role as the director, since Finland is a nation rich in choral groups.  The truth is that we as a society have become more and more consumer oriented -- if you don't like your new smartphone, you can easily return it for another, and if the church you are attending isn't meeting your needs, why not try visiting the one down the street, or better yet, skip the inconvenience of getting dressed on a Sunday and instead listen to online sermons delivered by an eminent preacher, from the comfort of your own living room.  We have a hard time committing to things nowadays because there are a myriad of distractions and activities to choose from.

The consumer mentality however, often does not prioritize nor fully recognize grace.  Grace overlooks an abundance of imperfections.  If we choose to sit at home alone, we miss out on the opportunity to experience God's grace though interacting with others.  Grace gives us the strength to see past our differences so that we can lend a hand to our neighbour, build a church together, invite a refugee family for lunch, or travel to a foreign land with our choir to make beautiful music.  There is something very powerful that happens when a group of individuals sing together -- the intertwining of individual voices creates a fabric of glorious sound that, as Beethoven reminds us in the final movement of his Ninth Symphony, is reflective of our shared humanity -- humanity that would not exist if it were not for His grace.

The Lost Coin

It has been a few weeks since I could attend my current church (been traveling a lot), but I was really convicted by the message yesterday. The pastor preached on the parable of the lost coin and how one woman searched and searched until she found it. Historians believe this coin may have been her wedding dowry and so when she found it, she rejoices with friends and neighbours alike. 

Here is what bothers me -- we as believers are supposed to go after that lost coin. We are supposed to encourage one another to draw closer to the Lord, tell the world all about the love of Christ that we ourselves have experienced, and pray for those in need. 

For some reason, we don't do it.  Instead, we talk about our jobs, our families, even our church and our friends and our hobbies. I think part of the issue stems from false assumptions that we ourselves are imperfect and therefore incapable of really mirroring Christ's love to a world that really needs it.  Of course, this isn't true and we can absolutely be real and authentic even through our failures and imperfections.  Another reason for this apathy, at least in my case, is that we don't want people to think we are crazy or fanatical even though we know Jesus was pretty fanatical and He went through a lot of trouble to show His love for us, didn't He?

It is the week before Easter, a week where things slow down and most people (at least in my part of the world) have a few days of vacation, and therefore a good time for us to ask ourselves and each other -- do we truly understand what happened at the cross and the grace and love we have received?  Do we know where our peace comes from, and do we know where we are going if we were to die tomorrow?  It struck me again this morning that the only thing that gets us to heaven is our authentic relationship with the Lord and desire to follow Him totally -- not money, career, family ties, fame, and not even the talents He has given us here on earth will bring us eternal life.

And once we know where we are going, are we prepared to go after that one coin -- pray over it, light a candle, sweep away the dirt if we need to -- in order to bring that one person into the Kingdom of God?  

I have never been a missionary nor been good about sharing my faith, and suddenly, this Easter, my heart burns for the lost and for the prodigal sons and daughters out there. 

May this Easter be a time where we can examine our hearts and dare to do the things we are called to do.  May we be the ones who go after that single lost coin -- all for His glory. 

Moving day

     It is now almost midnight, I haven't yet finished packing, and tomorrow is moving day!  Around me are boxes, some only half packed, and it is hard to believe that three years ago, I got on a plane with just two suitcases to start a new life in a foreign land.   Where all my belongings have come from, I can only make a rough estimate -- many households things (furniture, dishes, decorations) came from friends, and others I of course purchased myself along the way.

     Over the past several days, I have attempted to purge... give, discard or donate items I no longer need.   However, it occurs to me that humans spend an incredible amount of energy and time accumulating stuff -- material belongings that often hold sentimental or monetary value, stuff we often become attached to, without being totally conscious of it.   Without a doubt, these items may well be useful and beneficial, even if at the same time we could live without most of it.  Ask anyone who has just come through a natural disaster and lost all their material belongings and although devastated, they are certainly happy to be alive.

     I treasure experiences too.  Climbing the Great wall of China, a helicopter ride over Hawaii, para-sailing off the shores of Malaysia, exploring the architecture in Prague or swimming in Israel's dead sea are certainly unforgettable moments.  I can certainly understand why some people go backpacking for months on end, leaving behind all that is familiar and instead trading it for the thrill of exploring new territory. 

     However, I think there is something more in it for us than simply collecting experiences or material belongings.  Sometimes it is a glimpse of something just out of reach -- that desire to explore, to be inspired, to be more alive than before, to live life to the fullest.

     And with that, tomorrow begins a new day and a new chapter of my life as I leave this home full of memories behind, and enter into another.